I have learnt.. this week

Man Locked In His Grief

A close friend of A, known at the age of 20 plus. One that A can depend and trust. The only one that A can relate with. This friend passed away quietly when A is 26 years old. A has no idea that he is suffering from cancer. A did not know that a funeral was held for this good friend. No chance to say goodbye nor even see him at his wake. It was only a friendly phone call, half a year later, did A realise that his very good friend is gone. The heartache and loss, who can understand?

A did not search for the answer 'why he din tell me that he is suffering from cancer?' He left the wound unhealed. 17 years later, that is this week, this pain is discovered and healing may take place. He has locked his pain within himself for 17 years, don't know how to share with his spouse, don't know what to do. He drifted from the world, locked himself in a safe environment, where he need not connect with other people, where he need not face possible pain of loss.

Prolonged grief- It can actually be resolved if he has opened up earlier.

My Reflections

(1) Its typical of men to keep things to themselves, but they may die inside, with no one know what's happening. Men are unlike women in expressing what's within, it's not easy for them to manage.Perhaps they need some help.... can we know what tools/ help they need?
Pray for the men... esp those who are not in Christ, their abiliy to express is even lower. Maybe sitting at the coffee shop, drinking beer, watching TV, is a solution. To them is a solution, but the problem is still there.

For A, his wife, for 17 over years, do not know that he is having this pain. He don't express much about himself to his wife, causing much marital strains. Whether the marriage can survive, maybe this is the root. Whether he want to deal with it, its up to him. I will be praying for him, for God to do the miracle healing

Don't wait till the last minute
I have learnt that its not when grandma is hospitalised, then we go and visit her.What she needs is our constant companionship. But sad to say, I am always busy with my things, and there's always 1001 excuses not to visit this beloved grandma of mine. She stays in Pasir Ris, I work in Pasir Ris. At times, when I goes for Home Visits, I will by pass her place. Yet, there will always be reasons not to go up.

"Don't wait till the last minute, that you have all your regrets, Fay. Dun at that moment, say.. 'If only....' " a voice in my heart.

I have just received the phone call at 8 plus during cell group on Fri evening that grandma is hospitalised again. She was just discharged last week. *Sigh* Its not too good sign. Pls pray for God's will, peace and guidance through this whole process. She's about 86 years old. If its time to go, pray for peace and that she would not suffer in pain before going off.

Dear Lord, I know what to do. Pls give me the strength, love and determination to do so. Provide me the support that I need to fulfill this role. You know that I am closest to her than anyone else...Lord, have mercy. In Jesus's name, I pray. Amen.

Emmanuel, I am thankful for this blog. I have always wanted to start a Blog to pen down some significant thoughts. This is just about 20 % of it. I promised to keep it short and to the point. But for an introvert like me, there's always so much to express in writing...

By the way, I have renewed my PDL and will be on the road. After a long break for the 1st practical. I have found a new motivation for driving- To bring my that grandma to church, or something in that line. Guess only God can make that change in me. Pray for me- patience and can pass this time.

Fay Lim